So it feels like a lot of people at the moment are really struggling with feelings of hopelessness and heaviness.

So one of the biggest things I try and teach my clients is about taking responsibility. We have been given this life with one very important aspect – and that is called CHOICE. This is the one thing that governs our existence, that determines how things go and how it flows. So in essence each thought and pattern and feeling is linked to choice. So how do YOU choose to feel? How do YOU choose to think? What do YOU choose to do? How do YOU choose to respond?

As like anyone out there, I also have days where I wake up sad, or mad or just feeling plain rotten and with a feeling of having had enough. I also struggle massively with self-esteem, self-doubt and self-criticism. BUT one thing I have learnt over the last few years of walking this path is that I am the one in control here – not my husband, my child, my parents, my family, my friends, society – JUST PLAIN OLD ME. So no one can make me feel anything, it is just me who makes me feel anything – sad or glad.

So each time these crappy feelings come up – I sit with it, I look at it and I try and figure out where it comes from. I then try and figure out how I can make it better for myself and then I CHOOSE to change the way that I feel about that feeling. I CHOOSE to change my standard response and I CHOOSE to look at it differently. It is very easy to say I don’t know why I am feeling this way, but deep inside we all know. And I know all too well, that feeling of wanting to fix stuff instantly, of wanting it all to just get better – instant gratification. But guys at the end of the day it really all boils down to CHOICE.

I am responsible for this life of mine, again just me – so if I want to make it a good one, I take responsibility for my choices. I choose to not look at the negative, I choose to practice gratitude, I choose to give myself a talking to and a bit of a kick up the arse. I also make sure that I spend lots of time in nature, practicing gratitude daily and do things that makes me happy.  I CHOOSE!

And then I always have to laugh at my dear husband’s who’s standard response to anyone feeling crappy is – tell them to buy a bike and go riding…


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Continued flow

So each week I have a group of people that come for guided meditations to my studio in Somerset West on a Friday morning. Amazing bunch of women so committed to connecting with themselves and with their spirituality.

So every week around Thursday, I start connecting with what it is that I need to talk about and what theme we will be meditating with. And I had a pretty clear idea this week by Thursday evening.

Then I wake up on Friday morning, all happy and full of life and optimism and as per usual my husband and I have a cup of tea in bed in the morning and a quick chat. He is busy writing an article about his huge ride that he did across Europe in August and was feeling quite blocked this week and all of a sudden on Thursday inspiration struck and he managed to finish the article late that evening.

We then spoke about the concept of flow and in his practical manner (seeing that I am the airy fairy one and he is the grounded practical one in this relationship). He spoke about how when Mountain Bikers go flying down a mountain on a single track path how they get into what they call flow and how they basically go without thinking. This immediately resonated with me as one of the spiritual concepts I am working with at the minute is flow. And then this immediately sparked something in me again.

I all of a sudden saw myself as this mountain biker flying down this mountain navigating this little single track and not over thinking and analysing just going for it. It just made me think of what I am currently going through and with what happened at the retreat last weekend.

The whole week long I have just let things happen, the ideas are flowing, the guidance for myself and others are flowing, people are contacting me and I am just on my little bike going down the mountain.

And there has been a few hectic moments this week with my boy and his leg and just general life stuff happening but I thought about that as tree roots and rocks in my path and just navigated around it with a certain amount of grace and sometimes with a few swear words and frustration, but it went pretty darn well.

The main thing I have done is to stop overthinking everything this week. Understanding that there are projects that need to happen, work that needs to be done, but it is all about not rushing in, in a state of panic and over-analysing, it is about gliding towards my projects, taking my ideas and letting them develop and happen. No more forcing square pegs into round holes. Breathing, looking and letting happen.

So for the minute I am coasting on my little flow mission and I am pretty happy with it. Lots of breathing happening when I get myself into old pattern stuff, but for now, I think I might be able to survive the trip down the mountain…..

And this ended up being my message to all the beautiful women at group – let’s flow – somethings what we think needs to be the message/lesson/path changes quickly – so just go with it.

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I have just returned from the most mind blowing weekend retreat.

What made this one so different from the others is that I came back home a different person….

Now usually when myself and my partner Natasha work with groups at retreats, there are a lot of giving. When doing this type of healing and work that we have on our retreats it can be quite an exhausting task, you give a lot emotionally and energetically and one always need time to recover afterwards.

But this weekend was really different and I realised that it had so much to do with my own personal journey since our retreat in May this year. After my return from Egypt end of March, I was ready to take on the world and standing in my power to do the healing work and share the love needed to facilitate the journey of healing for others. Even in our June retreat it was all about giving to the people that we worked with. Then July and August my months of super introspection and work with myself happened and something changed within me.

I started this weekend retreat off pretty much feeling in the same space (or shall I say thinking I was in that same space of giving) and then as our sessions progressed I realised something was different, something did not feel the same as before… And I realised it was me! During the past few months I have been working intensely with the concept of surrender and letting things be – not trying to control or direct anything.

And this weekend it all started making sense why these lessons and teachings of the past two months appeared in my life.

All of a sudden spending three hours healing people felt so different… Instead of this being work and taking it’s toll on me emotionally and spiritually it felt like flow, everything just flowed and on Saturday after our long and intense healing sessions I walked out with a skip in my step. Ready for the rest of the sessions and basically buzzing with life. I totally felt the entire concept of being a channel for the work of Divine Spirit. None of this has anything to do with me and should not be affecting me on a physical or emotional level, all of it is just flowing through me to the person that I am working with.

And then another thing struck me, because of us allowing flow to happen all of a sudden the collective energy of the work embraced this too. I was so astounded by this and in this I too received my own healing, so many things made sense to me and through the giving there I was also freely receiving and loving it.

I just surrendered into this whole process and it was beautiful and I thank the Universe for focusing my attention on surrendering for the last two months… It has changed me for the better!

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